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6 tips to help you cope at work if you are going through a Breakup, Separation or Divorce

The breakdown of your relationship can have a ripple effect on all aspects of your life, and as an all-consuming process, it can affect your work life too.

It may impair your ability to :

  • Make good decisions.

  • To focus

  • To stay motivated

  • Effect your ability to manage your team.

Here are my tips to help you survive and thrive at work:

1 Give your boss the heads up.

  • You don’t want to make it public knowledge but it’s a good idea to let them know.

  • In that meeting, decide what you want to say, but keep it on a need-to-know basis, there is no need to elaborate, stick to the basic information.

  • Check out if your employer has access to specialised supportive  Divorce services, it may be part of your employee benefits.

  • Check out if your employer can offer:

  • Home working

  • Flexible hours

  • Help to manage your workload.

  • Paid leave for court hearings

  • Finding solutions together is in both of your best interests.

2 Be discreet.

  • You don’t want to be the office gossip.

  • If you want to share, keep it to the bare minimum with colleagues.

  • It may be great to have a shoulder to cry on but ‘letting the floodgates open' may compromise your professional credibility.

  • If asked you can say” Thank you for asking, I’m taking it a day at a time” or “ I appreciate your concern, but I’m sorting it out”.

3 Have some simple strategies in place to help manage your emotions.

  • If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed

  • STOP       PAUSE       BREATHE

  • Breathe in for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8.

  • Do these 3 or 4 times and BOOM it's incredibly powerful!!

  • If you can get up from your desk and get a drink that is always a ‘go to’ but it’s even better to get some fresh air to centre yourself to carry on with your day.

  • Write down what you are feeling, it’s so important to acknowledge what our bodies are telling us.

  • Name the emotion, sit with it (if you can) then to reverse that feeling, think of something you are grateful for, it could be your children, your pet or a great friend. The antidote to sadness is that feeling of gratefulness.

  • However, if you can’t deal with that emotion, write it down put it away,  and say” I’ll deal with you later after 5.30!

  • Have something to hand that gives you comfort, it could be a small precious object, maybe something your child has made for you, and hold it when you begin to feel emotional.

4 Discourage any Divorce Communication at work.

  • Tell your ex that unless it’s an absolute emergency or a child-related issue you will not be responding to them during work hours.

  • This will help reduce distractions and any chance of your becoming derailed at work.

5 Avoid using work as an escape.

  • We have all heard the saying ‘ throw yourself into work to take your mind off it’.

  • Well, that’s absolute rubbish!

  • It may be a distraction but be in touch with how you feel and pay attention to what going on with you.

6 Make your office space or desk a positive area to be in!

  • Have a few small pictures of your children or pets.

  • Have a plant for you to smell or feel the texture of the leaves.

  • Have a positive ‘phrase’ picture on your desk.

  • Have a fun screensaver on your desktop or phone to make you laugh.

  • Have a small object that you love, that brings you comfort or makes you smile.

I hope these 6 tips help you.

There are many ways I can help you cope and thrive through your breakup separation or divorce.

If you would like to work with me, please get in touch with me via the ‘ contact me button on my website.

Sarah xx

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