The breakdown of your relationship can have a ripple effect on all aspects of your life, and as an all-consuming process, it can affect your work life too.
It may impair your ability to :
Make good decisions.
To focus
To stay motivated
Effect your ability to manage your team.
Here are my tips to help you survive and thrive at work:
1 Give your boss the heads up.
You don’t want to make it public knowledge but it’s a good idea to let them know.
In that meeting, decide what you want to say, but keep it on a need-to-know basis, there is no need to elaborate, stick to the basic information.
Check out if your employer has access to specialised supportive Divorce services, it may be part of your employee benefits.
Check out if your employer can offer:
Home working
Flexible hours
Help to manage your workload.
Paid leave for court hearings
Finding solutions together is in both of your best interests.
2 Be discreet.
You don’t want to be the office gossip.
If you want to share, keep it to the bare minimum with colleagues.
It may be great to have a shoulder to cry on but ‘letting the floodgates open' may compromise your professional credibility.
If asked you can say” Thank you for asking, I’m taking it a day at a time” or “ I appreciate your concern, but I’m sorting it out”.
3 Have some simple strategies in place to help manage your emotions.
If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed
STOP PAUSE BREATHE
Breathe in for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8.
Do these 3 or 4 times and BOOM it's incredibly powerful!!
If you can get up from your desk and get a drink that is always a ‘go to’ but it’s even better to get some fresh air to centre yourself to carry on with your day.
Write down what you are feeling, it’s so important to acknowledge what our bodies are telling us.
Name the emotion, sit with it (if you can) then to reverse that feeling, think of something you are grateful for, it could be your children, your pet or a great friend. The antidote to sadness is that feeling of gratefulness.
However, if you can’t deal with that emotion, write it down put it away, and say” I’ll deal with you later after 5.30!
Have something to hand that gives you comfort, it could be a small precious object, maybe something your child has made for you, and hold it when you begin to feel emotional.
4 Discourage any Divorce Communication at work.
Tell your ex that unless it’s an absolute emergency or a child-related issue you will not be responding to them during work hours.
This will help reduce distractions and any chance of your becoming derailed at work.
5 Avoid using work as an escape.
We have all heard the saying ‘ throw yourself into work to take your mind off it’.
Well, that’s absolute rubbish!
It may be a distraction but be in touch with how you feel and pay attention to what going on with you.
6 Make your office space or desk a positive area to be in!
Have a few small pictures of your children or pets.
Have a plant for you to smell or feel the texture of the leaves.
Have a positive ‘phrase’ picture on your desk.
Have a fun screensaver on your desktop or phone to make you laugh.
Have a small object that you love, that brings you comfort or makes you smile.
I hope these 6 tips help you.
There are many ways I can help you cope and thrive through your breakup separation or divorce.
If you would like to work with me, please get in touch with me via the ‘ contact me button on my website.
Sarah xx
Comments