by Sarah Steele Accredited Breakup and Divorce Master Coach, Life Coach and Neuro-linguistic Practitioner
If you’re struggling to let go of your past relationship—whether it’s lingering guilt over your children, your ex’s words weighing you down, or the “what-ifs” keeping you stuck—you’re not alone.
Guilt is one of the biggest emotional roadblocks after a breakup, and it can keep you tethered to pain long after the relationship has ended.
But here’s the truth: Holding onto guilt doesn’t change the past. It only steals your peace in the present. Letting go isn’t about denying responsibility—it’s about understanding that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time.
It’s time to shift from self-blame to self-compassion!
Releasing Guilt & Moving Forward
Here are some of my five powerful strategies—backed by NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)—to help you release guilt and step into a future of emotional freedom:
1. Reframe Your Perspective
Guilt often stems from the belief that you’ve done something wrong. But what if you looked at your decision as an act of self-care and growth? Instead of thinking, “I broke up my family”, try reframing it as “I’m creating a healthier, happier environment for myself and my children.”
A helpful exercise: Write down a guilty thought and challenge it by asking:
Is this 100% true?
Am I assuming responsibility for things outside my control?
What would I tell a friend in my situation?
This small shift in perspective can make a big difference in how you feel.
2. Stop Feeding the Guilt Cycle
If your ex is guilt-tripping you, remember: Their words reflect their emotions, not reality. NLP techniques like the Meta Model help challenge these distorted messages.
If they say, “You ruined everything”, pause and ask yourself:
What specifically did I ruin?
Is this statement entirely true?
Am I responsible for how they feel, or are they responsible for their own emotions?
Once you start questioning these statements, their emotional grip weakens.
3. Anchor into Positive Emotions
When guilt takes over, it’s easy to feel trapped in negativity. NLP uses anchoring to help you shift states quickly. Try this:
Close your eyes and recall a moment when you felt strong, free, and at peace.
Imagine stepping into that version of yourself. Notice how it feels in your body.
Now, press your thumb and index finger together while experiencing this feeling—this creates a neurological “anchor.”
Next time guilt arises, repeat this gesture and reconnect with that empowered state.
4. Release Emotional Ties
One reason guilt lingers is because you’re still emotionally tied to the past. A powerful NLP visualization called Cord Cutting can help:
Picture an energetic cord between you and your ex (or the guilt itself).
Imagine holding golden scissors and gently cutting this cord.
Watch as the negative emotions tied to it dissolve, leaving you feeling lighter and freer.
This symbolic act helps signal to your subconscious that it’s time to release what no longer serves you.
5. Focus on What’s Next
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting—it means choosing where to place your energy. Instead of dwelling on the past, start shifting your focus to what you want to create next.
Journaling can be a great tool for this. Try writing about:
What kind of life do I want moving forward?
How do I want to feel each day?
What small steps can I take to build that reality?
Even tiny daily actions—like trying a new hobby, setting boundaries, or practising self-compassion—can help move you from a place of loss to a place of possibility.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Healing after a breakup is a journey, and you deserve support. As an Accredited Professional Divorce Coach and NLP Practitioner, I help people just like you reframe their mindset, release guilt, and create a future they’re excited about.
If you’re ready to break free from the emotional weight and step into a new chapter with clarity and confidence, let’s talk.
You deserve peace, happiness, and freedom. Let’s create it together.
Sarah xx
Why not book a free Discovery call, via my Calendly link below:
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